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12-Nov-2017 17:35

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It feels different, because it feels more like I’m rejecting a person, well, personally, rather than saying they aren’t the right fit or we had more qualified applicants. I do indeed think the etiquette for rejection in different in these two situations: It’s much more acceptable not to reply to messages from would-be suitors on online dating sites than it is for employers not to reply to job applicants.I also think I would get more pushback of the kind hiring managers sometimes get when we reject an applicant. Part of it is just a difference in conventions — the professional conventions for hiring are different than the conventions for online dating.Ghosting, for those of you who haven’t yet experienced it, is having someone that you believe cares about you, whether it be a friend or someone you are dating, disappear from contact without any explanation at all. Ghosting isn’t new—people have long done disappearing acts—but years ago this kind of behavior was considered limited to a certain type of scoundrel.

When someone we love and trust disengages from us it feels like a very deep betrayal. One of the most insidious aspects of ghosting is that it doesn’t just cause you to question the validity of the relationship you had, it causes you to question yourself. How could I have been such a poor judge of character? How do I protect myself from this ever happening again?The lack of social connections to people who are met online also means there are less social consequences to dropping out of someone’s life.The more it happens, either to themselves or their friends, the more people become desensitized to it and the more likely they are to do it to someone else.If I lost or dropped my phone, I wouldn't have his number, so it makes sense. Maybe I should just text him again in case he didn't even realize he never replied.

Sometimes I forget about an old text and then get a bunch of new ones, and it pushes the older ones down, and then I forget that I didn't respond.

You might think it would be more likely with the dudes whose initial messages are already a little sketchy, but it’s not uncommon to also receive abusive responses to rejection from the guy whose first message was polite, unassuming and/or charming.



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